Matthew Bocchi Talks Vulnerability, Empathy with EHS Students

On Wednesday, March 25, Matthew Bocchi visited Eastchester High School for a frank discussion about mental health. His message to EHS students was succinct, yet vital; communication, empathy and trust can be lifelines for those dealing with mental health challenges. 

For the last several years, Bocchi—whose book ‘Sway’ chronicles his own struggles with depression, abuse, and addiction following the death of his father in the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001—has been speaking to student groups about the transformational power of vulnerability and how honest conversations about mental health with friends, family, and trusted adults can play a crucial role in healing the scars of trauma. 

Bocchi explained that his own story is proof that sometimes even those who appear to be thriving—academically, athletically or socially—may actually be struggling in silence. It’s precisely for that reason, he said, that he has devoted his life to becoming a mental health advocate. 

The first step, he said, is erasing the stigma surrounding discussions about mental health and challenging individuals to be able to speak more openly about their feelings and fears.

“There are kids in this gym who are afraid to tell their story, fearing that kids may laugh. There are kids in this gym who are struggling, there are kids in this gym who come to school and it’s the best eight hours of their day,” he said. “You come into the gym, you sit with your friends, but I question if your friends know the real you; I had best friends, and I still couldn’t tell them what was going on with me.”

Bocchi acknowledged that students today generally show a greater willingness to have these types of discussions than they may have had 20 or 30 years ago, but noted that it can still be all too easy for youngsters and adults alike to internalize their problems, therefore increasing their sense of isolation from their peers. 

“When it came to my journey towards recovery, it was a collaborative approach,” said Bocchi. “It was my family, my community, my friends; I needed support from multiple avenues, because I was in and out of treatment centers for years, and a lot of this was at a time when mental health and addiction were still so stigmatized.

“There are hopefully some kids who came out of that assembly and they will begin to get honest,” he added. “But there are also plenty who have been doing it for years,” he added. “And to me, that seems like a shift; these kids have a lot of courage.” 

Seeing that courage gives Bocchi the strength to continue to spread his message, he added, and it is his interactions with students during and after his appearances that help inspire him to keep going. 

“The thing I was told since day one is that if you can get through to one kid, if you can make an impact for one kid, then it was worth it,” he said. “It sounds cliche, but it’s so true. There is always more than one kid who heard something they needed to hear, but to have even a few stay after to talk to me about the message lets me know that the message was heard.”

After Bocchi’s in-school appearance on Wednesday, he held an evening session for parents and family members in the EHS Digital Lab, letting adults know what role they can play in being a positive presence and promoting healthier dialogues with their children. 

“The parents got a bit of a different message than the students; it was detailed, intensive and informative and discussed that collaborative approach,” he said. “I felt so welcomed by this community, from the top down and that’s not something that happens everywhere I go. I felt so grateful for that welcome.”